My Story (Introducing R3 and About)

Video

https://share.descript.com/view/KrDbbF2ySln

Written Version (in the voice of responding to a client specific trauma/problem over email, etc)

This can be an introductory email etc.

Hi [name], I hope we can make acquaintance and go by a first name basis. I'm Izzy and I took the time to read your story and your journey..... It's very relatable, and I'd like to share what I had understood and in which ways I can relate and how we can possibly help each other.

Your entire journey is the natural progression of living under the umbrella of ovenrurturing parents. It has it's strengths and weaknesses. The obvious strength is that you didn't have to suffer through the uncertainties of this world throughout your childhood and were given a clear path to follow to set your life up for success. The weakness is the exact same as the strength, because you were not faced with too many 2nd class adversities growing up, you developed a need to control (which you want to compensate for by completely letting go) and you are puzzled by how to make the decisions necessary to live your own life, because outside of a more formulaic strategic decision making process which you've used to grow your business....you didn't have to make too many decisions which were uncomfortable. For instance it was easy for you to say no to relationships because you would negate the idea of them saying, "Mom wouldn't approve, no need to explore further."

I can relate to you from the opposing end. I came to the US when I was 2 from Ukraine and also had overnurturing parents who were all but too protective of me. And because of the faith they raised me with-it made dating very difficult. Additionally, I was always looking for someone to save. And needed to be with someone that needs me. This was due to extreme adversity. Growing up with many ideas, great ambitions, but little to no network and capital to really self actualize. Fast forward I've graduated from Harvard, finishing my EDD. Worked for top tech companies in silicon Valley (you can verify me on LinkedIn- Izzy Kiver). But the core of the adversity which led me here.... Was losing my brother to suicide when I was 20 years old. This made trusting the world difficult and placed an immense amount of guilt on my shoulders, feeling like I should have helped him in some way. I also developed a savior complex after that.

4 years after I had been in a systems thinking class at Harvard and a German student I had become friends with introduced me to a framework that helped him overcome birth trauma (to where he was able to complete a PhD in computer science and build a career) and as a way to help me with my trauma offered to walk me through the system. I naively dived in head first and had spent days battling with my emotions going through the exercises. One exercise was a letter written to a close relative with your complaints towards them, and in the voice of the close relative a response back to you. When I did this exercise writing to and hearing back from my brother I was in complete shock. It had paralyzed me and I felt like he was there answering me back explaining his pain and why he did what he had to do for everyone's benefit.....

Years went by, I found my calling in corporate learning and development and after 5 years in the space I knew I had to get back to my entrepreneurial roots. I was in another codependent relationship at the time which wasn't serving me any good and I decided I'm going to visit this center in Oregon where they serve Daime (a type of Ayahuasca) and go to all their gatherings over winter break, with the goal of clearing my mind and finding my purpose. I went through 5 ceremonies which included singing hymns for 6 hours in Portuguese while dancing in a rhythmic pattern that would tire even the most developed athlete. After 5 ceremonies I felt I was done. I had an internal agreement that I'm not going to let myself be traumatized if this is what healing looks like. After our last ceremony one of the members reached out and asked me... are you coming to our last event on the 5th?

The first thought that went through my mind. There is no way I'm going to subject myself to that again... but then he said something which was very significant in me making the decision to go through with it....he told me it's a remembrance service... for those who have passed on...

I knew that even if I was exhausted from everything that had happened, I needed to do this for my brother. So I agreed and came to the service on the 5th, and unlike the previous ceremonies this one was pegged for only 2 hours. I sat down with everyone and started to sing... but shortly after I was overtaken by what I had felt was the spirit of my brother sitting next to me and my entire body became paralyzed. I couldn't move nor sing. The only thing I could do in that moment was cry.

Throughout the service I sat and reflected on the true purpose of my brothers life. I remembered how much of the adversity pain and suffering that was meant to come my way he had absorbed like a guardian angel and my personal protector and soldier in battle. And like any wounded soldier, eventually the time came where he could no longer bear the aftermath of battle and expired. This switch of feeling betrayal of my brother taking his life and guilt that I couldn't save him turned into something beautiful it was the understanding that my brother was my protector and lived out his full life protecting me up until the point where I was safe enough, strong and no longer needed his protection. He fulfilled his mission and continued on. In that moment I realized I needed to do more than just start a business. I needed to carry on his legacy and be that same guardian angel for others.

I looked at the stage around me and noticed a cross ✝️ going through a Magen David- a Jewish 6 sided star ✡️ and understood that what I create needs to be interethnic and connect people of all different faiths. I also remembered my brothers Hebrew name was Nafthali which is the tribe of the deer in the Bible, and thought if Jesus had the cross, COE will have the deer as it's logo. That single ceremony helped me pivot and ignite the fire 🔥 for building COE to what it is today....now the first year of operations I spent primarily helping teens and adults with their education doing various forms of pro Bono advisory and consulting. But quickly realized that my donors are the ones who are going to support and drive my organization forward. My biggest donor was a doc named Laura who needed help building her functional medicine education business and I understood that if I focus on Female Professionals as my basis for support I can produce a lot more good in this ls world and in turn they will help grow COE as well. So currently COE runs a Personal Transformation Program called R3 that helps women unblock and untangle any past trauma or limiting beliefs and redirect their life to a path of happiness and fulfillment.